If wishes were trees

Car door stays unlocked

Carjack me, please, so that I

can take the day off.

Give me a little credit

They think we all steal

and search my bag every day

when I leave the store

by Retail Rosie in Malvern, PA

Just wondering...

What would Sally do

if I just launched a stapler

over the cube wall

The light at the end of the tunnel

Friday afternoons

I can do nothing else but

dream of happy hour

by MC Mike in Philadelphia, PA

I wonder if my cleaning lady does cubicles

Working here for years

I have never cleaned my desk

...which is kind of gross

Nobody home!

Ah, Caller ID

I never answer my phone

when my boss calls me

by Data Dave in Detroit, MI

A germaphobe's nightmare

Hacking cough and sneeze

There is more disease here than

in a hospital

Since when do you work for your kid?

I'm on a diet

so stop trying to sell me

those Girl Scout cookies

by Fidgety Fran in Houston, TX

Thirst for purpose

Pointless jobs make us

dead-eyed and irritable

Corporate vampires

by Mrs. Cullen in Arlington, VA

Wut can eye do abowt it?

My boss gets annoyed

when I make spelling mistakes

but I just can't stop

The secret lives of cubicle neighbors

Sheila stole my pen

so I took her notepad; she

likes to doodle porn

Thanks, guys

Don't trust co-workers

to tell you there's ketchup on

the back of your pants

A sight for sore eyes?

In meetings, I think

"Where do my co-workers shop?"

Their clothes are awful

Buh-bye

I told them "I quit!"

Happiest day of my life

Find a new sucker

by Billable Betty in Harrisburg, PA

They don't make enough anti-bacterial hand lotion

Gross people coughing

Germs run rampant on the train

Hazardous commute

by Hot Toddy Tara in Philadelphia, PA

Life before the Interweb

How did they do it

at work, before Internet

days must have been long

Given the choice, I'd take Captain Hook

I am Peter Pan--

never wanted to grow up

Could not prevent it

by MC Mike in Philadelphia, PA

Hope you're allergic to peanut butter

Why do people steal?

My bagged lunch had nothing good

but now it is gone

Unprofessional, what?

If I could wear jeans

work wouldn't be quite as bad

Stockings are evil

by Fidgety Fran in Houston, TX

Crying on the inside

I make jokes at work

people laugh--nobody knows

that I'm a sad clown

Spinning to a different tune

I used to DJ

and now I am a JD

It's not as much fun

by MC Mike in Philadelphia, PA

Oh, Dylan...

I constantly think

'I went to school with rich kids...

should have married one'

Hooked on late night infomercials

When I work from home

I do not take naps--I work

unlike most people

by Data Dave in Detroit, MI

Daily reminder

Work reminds us all

that youth is gone forever

Memories linger

by Data Dave in Detroit, MI

Job stability insurance

Workplace happy hours

always are good in theory,

awkward in practice

If I ever found a magic lamp

Weekends go so fast

I wish the entire work week

was two days instead

Another round

I'm buzzed at the bar

sealing a huge merger deal

Thank you, BlackBerry

Get a Life!

My boss is eighty

and I want to scream at him

'Why won't you retire?!'

Peter Pan Syndrome

I really hate that

my ex boyfriend (the artist)

calls me a 'suit' now

Sarah Shoulderpads in Malvern, PA

Instantly regret that decision

Workplace golden rule:

when the caf has shrimp scampi

do not order it

A mathmagician couldn't fix this thing

Copier toner

Where does it come from? And why

does it love white pants?

Captain obvious

Newspaper rolled up

you walk down the hall; we know

where you are going

by Darrin Stephens in Boca Raton, FL

This stupid economy

Layoffs everywhere

My ulcer grows by the day

Somebody hold me

Because work's not bad enough, let's add shoveling

I don't like the snow

Since I'm no longer a kid

I don't get days off

Hot Toddy Tara in Philadelphia, PA